Facing Fear of Failure

Here I am on the first Sunday evening of 2020. My thoughts are wandering, my mind is racing. A new week ahead. I am excited; I made the decision (because resolutions are not en vogue anymore) to make 2020 the year of growth - personally and professionally. It is a conscious choice. It’s a decision, a commitment.

...But I have not posted any of my articles to my blog, despite all the good intentions and the strategy I set up to do so.

Why is that? And how is that connected to my commitment to growth? How do we actually grow? How do we make changes in our mindset, behavior, and being that will last and flourish? How can we cultivate our personal and professional growth and development?

Think about a time in your life during which you grew. Did you know at the moment that that's what was happening? Did you purposefully steer your path in a direction or onto nurturing grounds and into inspiring territories? Or is growth just what naturally happens with us as we navigate our life and through this world?

A while ago, I experienced an „aha-moment.“ I had two choices, keep going on the same road I was on or take a sharp right turn. The latter had the character of a risky path on which I knew I would have to enter a narrow and dark tunnel. I wasn’t sure about the resources I would have along the way or what could lie behind the tunnel. The road ahead appeared rocky but I could see the sky and the horizon. I chose to stay on my path. I was not ready to face fear.

Making this decision was not easy and for the longest time, I wondered about the tunnel and what could have been. What bugged me more though, was that I did not face my fears and chose what appeared to be the safer path. But just maybe this was meant to prepare me for the next time I was facing such a moment? Maybe this decision was the growth I needed to make the “right“ decision when it comes, so maybe this was indeed the „right“ decision and the growth I needed in my life?

Facing our fears is not easy. It’s nerve-wracking, but what we can do when we make a decision is to train our mind to reframe the way we think. In the example above, I now know that I have made the right decision because I can see and feel the growth.

I know I’ll be ready to face my fear head-on next time. And I am ready to practice that; learning from failure and learning from what appears like wrong decision-making is the core of growth. Without it we will just go in circles, we will simply not get anywhere.

As I am trying to push my mental boundaries, my way of thinking and my mind, I want to also push my growth and willingness to face fear.

I’ve written several „thoughts“ for this blog but I keep talking myself out of posting them.

“They are not good enough yet.“

“What if XYZ reads it?“

“What if I want to take back what I thought because I learned something else?“

“My English could be better - maybe I need to use better words or syntax.“

“What if nobody reads it?“ or “What if people disagree and rip me apart with their sophisticated counter-statements?“

"What if I fail?"

...and there it is! Then I will learn and grow from the experience!

This is what this blog or my posts will be: reflections of my experience, my thoughts, my interpretation. Take it or leave it - but ideally, I do want you to disagree or agree, I want to start conversations! 

Please join me (especially if you read up to this point!)! And to make it easy, I will keep the topics in the realm of L&D (and psychology)!

Thanks for reading and have a great start into a new week!

Let’s face some fears!