REALITIES OF REMOTE WORK: Part 2 – Challenges for Parents

My family is my top priority. My daughter is my world and without her energy, love, and curiosity, my days would be straight out boring. We have been fortunate; I have been working from home already before M was born, and until she turned 2 ”working and momming” was what I did. As a freelancer (or gig worker) I worked on average 20-30 hours every week. I could raise M bilingually and schedule my work completely around her needs. numerous late night or early morning shifts characterised my life, or I‘d work from 2am to 4am. But I learned quickly that I had to always and clearly communicate my circumstances with my clients. To my surprise, many were accommodating or showed kindness and understanding.

Tomorrow will be an interesting day.

My daughter will stay home with me because of the current COVID-19 disruptions. She is 4 and she does not understand why. I’ve explained to her what my expectations are, I’ve made a schedule for us, and I will likely start changing my nighttime routine after today so that I can get up at 2am to work instead of sticking to my regular window from 7.30am to 5.30pm. Whether that will be practical in terms of communicating with colleagues, I have no clue. I work with different time zones, so it might actually work out well. Yet, there is no doubt that it is inconvenient, overwhelming, and that it’s making me anxious. Will I be productive enough? Will M be frustrated with me? Will I be frustrated with her? What if the activities and books I ordered last-minute on Amazon don‘t get here In time and what if my husband’s company doesn’t change course and implement a WFH policy as well, because I will need his support!

The entire situation is overwhelming. My husband and I say that we think we are prepared, but the reality is, we have no clue how or if it will work out. I have 5 calls scheduled, tomorrow morning alone.

This is what it will take: I will have to adapt and show my daughter that that is what we as humans have to do. Somehow we always make it work and this may even breed creativity in a way that’s been unheard of.

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As a mother working remotely, I have struggled, faced challenges and taken advantage of opportunities but this is different because the emotions run so much higher. In everyone. I try to take it one step at a time and remind myself how fortunate we are. We are healthy, we have food and water, we are employed, and I am able to work from home. There are families that face way more challenging moments in this time:

All I can ask for is that we meet each other with kindness in these next weeks, months, and for the rest of our lives. If you can do your part to flatten the curve, do so. If you have the option to work from home with your kid(s) at home, make an honest effort to make it work.

Most of all, be kind to yourself. working from home may be a new skill for you to develop and your organisation may be new to it as well, but that’s all it is: a skill. There are plenty of guides and resources that can help you set yourself up for success to work from home. Now, adding in children can complicate it.

I have no answer but to call for kindness again. Every child is different and some require an immense amount of energy and work. Establishing new routines, setting clear and age-appropriate goals and expectations and also balancing one‘S own well-being will take on new dimensions.

When I originally started writing this article, I had piled up all my tips for working from home with your child at certain ages. But as I was looking over those reflections from my personal experience, I realized how useless it actually was - it’s irrelevant information. Sure, there may have been some ideas for the mom of a newborn, like adjusting ones schedule around nap time or dividing work and parenting time up with your partner to rotate through shifts or giving older siblings more responsibilities, but in the end of the day, what we really need is kindness. We need to change substantially to be present and mindful in a time of constant and rapid change.

Not every job can be performed from home or with kids at home and I wish I had an answer for those who will face to overcome this time with what appears like greater obstacles. I will do my best to show kindness and to flatten the curve so that we can hopefully all return quicker to a less stressful and uncertain state of being. It‘s not simple, but my goal is to keep a positive mindset and realistic expectations for Myself, my family, and everyone around me. We will all learn and we will adapt, we share this experience and I trust in others’ kindness and understanding. After all, we are human and we are no machines. The amount of learning we will go through is a reality that we need to face even if we are afraid. I am nervous as hell and I try not to let my daughter feel it. That’s my top priority.

What are your plans for the next few weeks (given your job or company's policy allows For remote work)? What are your fears, hopes, and expectations?